minor case of depression?

sometimes i feel like i have a minor case of depression. the feeling of loneliness and not having someone to talk to. it hurts inside. your so called best friend doesn't even reply to your questions and left you hanging. i want to cry when shitty stuff like that happens. not only that, but i feel like i have nobody right now. no one i can truly trust and put my heart into anymore. i miss having deep conversations about life and for someone to just listen and not question me. i want somebody in life to be here for me, to appreciate me and value me and love me. i  may not show it and i am not desperate but it would be really nice to have a real friend right now and my statement does not imply that i WANT or NEED a boyfriend. everybody is busy now. i really don't know who to go to when i feel like this. i don't really care what anybody thinks right now. people don't really care about me, i can tell. like, if i were to be missing, nobody would care. i don't know, i just feel really lonely recently up to the point where i actually asked my friend to find me a boyfriend. because in truth, i don't really need a boyfriend, i just want to feel wanted by someone, loved by someone and to mean something to someone because honestly, i have no reason to be on this earth anymore except to breath and to learn new things.



i want Allah to just take my life and i want to die in syahid. the end.